remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
