You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
