I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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