Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize