tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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