I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
