omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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