I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
