are you so shy because you have an std?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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