are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I need moral support for this bender
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
