I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I need moral support for this bender
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
