Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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