i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
