Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
40s are totally the cure
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
