Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
