this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
