You're so nebulous sometimes
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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