have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
