I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you mean i was at the winter classic?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
