Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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