The maid of honor just puked.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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