How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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