somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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