I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
