He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
