I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
