Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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