I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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