where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
