I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
