Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
