Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
