Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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