woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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