she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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