Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
