If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
