You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
