you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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