summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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