I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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