you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
