I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I AM VODKA MAN
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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