Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
