im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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