Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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