So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Who died my cat blue again?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
