yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
