So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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