This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
