Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You don't make any sense
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