I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
