some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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