This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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