craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was not drunk enough for that final.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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