Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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