The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
