Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Randomize
