So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
