Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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