I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
