how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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