I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
