It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
