drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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