I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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