u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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