So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
