I want to stick my p in your. b.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
