I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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