You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
