Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
